Why so necessary? Well, somewhere between the first and second sip of a Thai pineapple shake, a vow is made: “I will never eat canned pineapple again.” Much like a bad fake tan, the canned stuff is a waste of money and leaves a bad taste in your mouth. A poor imitation.
Still, the fresh fruit comes with a few challenges. Kind friends have taught us how to cut up a pineapple the Thai way (which means quickly, and keeping as much of the fruit as possible). Consider it your first lesson in a happy transition from farang (foreigner) to totally Thai. Let’s do this…
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How to cut up pineapple (like a Thai ninja)
In just 6 steps, learn how to cut up pineapple ‘Thai-style’: quickly, properly and keeping all 10 fingers…
Step 1: Get a sharp knife
Got a really sharp knife? It’s dangerous to use dull knives for this. Plus, it’s the difference between your pineapple taking seconds, and being actual hard work. In Thailand, machetes or massive cleavers are used to cut up pineapple – we’ll stick with a sharp knife. For extra-sharp slicing try an 8″ Global Chef’s Knife.
Step 2: Cut off your pineapple’s top & bottom
This is not necessary if you’re man enough to wield a machete, but the timid kitchen-knife user will find it’s much more stable with a flat bottom.
Step 3: Shave your pineapple’s sides
Try your best to only cut off the outer skin (the sharper your knife, the easier this is). You don’t want it to end up completely naked but to retain its pointy nubs – this means more pineapple for you, less for the compost. Remember the last time you did a rough job shaving? Do that.
Step 4: Study your pineapple
Turn the pineapple on to its side and study where the remaining ‘eyes’ lay. They will be on a diagonal, spiralling across the fruit.
Step 5: Cut shallow V’s along the pineapple
As in the photo, cut shallow V-shaped channels through the eyes, along the line that they lie. Do this all the way around the fruit. You’ll see how much more pineapple you end up with than if you’d cut it to this level all the way around.
Step 6: All but your pineapple core
When all the eyes are removed, stand the fruit on its end and cut off in large pieces leaving only the core. Ta-da! Finished! What’s next? It’s like we read your mind. You cut up a pineapple to make a pineapple shake, people!
Do you have frozen cocktails or pineapple bowls in mind? Are you lazy, or scared of knives? There’s always this clever slicey-dicey pineapple gadget. Its benefit over the Thai style of pineapple-cutting is you’re left with the outer shell intact, for using as a bowl to fill with fried rice or a frozen cocktail.
So now you’ve done the hard work – let’s get blending. Find out how much you’ve been missing all your life when you make your first authentic Thai pineapple shake. It’s sugary – and you’ll get addicted. Enjoy!
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